Shh. Don't tell.

It took me hella long to get out of bed this morning. Haha.

Pastor Art gave the message today. Noah like, destroyed the piece of paper I was using to take notes. Well, not really. But it was all crumpled up and stuff. Lmao. How cute!

Mm.. Pastor Art also spoke about marriage. I forgot why, though. Haha. You know, only one date comes to mind when I think about marriage or weddings and such. I'm definitely getting married on the 5th of October. Why I chose that date? S-e-c-r-e-t. You'll have to ask me if you're curious. You can probably guess why, though. Haha.

I just got off the phone with Calvin. Man, he's so sweet. He and I are going to do a puzzle together! One of those 1000 piece ones. Mmhmm. We're going to be on the floor, side by side and everything. Aww! Haha.

It takes us a bit longer to say goodbye now. Since we don't even say "goodbye" anymore. It's okay, though. I love it.

Boo. I really want to lay in bed with him.

Rolls.

I spent the day hanging out with Chiara. Haha.

So like, we just parked, yeahhh? And this one chick was getting out of the passenger side of her car. I said, "Swear, if you hit my car.." But, wait! There's more. My window was open. LOL..

But, yeah. Mall was alright. Kindof boring. I did a little shopping. Haha. Chiara and I hung around some of her friends. It was pretty cool, I guess. Not exactly the type of people I would hang out with.. But, hey. It was cool. They're those weird.. White, annoying skater things. Lmao.

After the mall, Chiara went with me to go job hunting. Maaan, no one is hiring. Haha. Oh, well.

She and I went to Raley's and bought stuff for Sushi. YAY. Suuuushi. I made hella rolls. 'Cause like, my mom saw me making them. And she was all, "Make some for church. Since it's a potluck." And I'm like, "Boo."

Mm. So, right now. I'm watching Calvin sleep. HOW CUTE. Rarar. Ivan keeps staring at me, but he won't wave. Haha. BOO. Max waves.

OH. So.. Max is so nice. Wanna know why? 'Cause he hella just covered Calvin with a blanket. AWW.. Cute, cute. What a nice cousin.

Calvin's so cute when he's sleeping. I would stare at him ALL night if I could. Oh man. I just want to hug him. Boo.

I'm sad now.

Watermelon.

Man, I'm craving. Hardcore.

Last night..

"..I tried, but I couldn't sleep.
Thoughts of you were in my head.
I was lonely and I needed you next to me.."

I woke up at like 3-ish.. And this song was playing. I haven't been able to sleep since then. Haha..

I've been thinking a lot lately. Mostly about the day Calvin and I are finally going to be together. I know, I'm a romantic. But I can't help myself. He and I had just started talking again about 6-ish months ago. And in a matter of days, I've come to love him all over again. I guess it's true. You know, what they say about one's first love.

Remember when I said 2009 wasn't a good year? Yeah, last year was the year when Calvin wasn't a part of my life. I've always felt that there was something missing. I need him. I know that now. He's my lover beyond comparison - my boyfriend. He's the one who fills my heart - my other half. He's the one I can confide in - my best friend.

I'm still unsure as to what true love is, though. Hmm.. A few words do come to mind when I think of the word, "love."

Commitment; Love is a choice.

Acceptance; Love looks past one's flaws.

Time; Love doesn't happen overnight.

I'm happy that I'm able to know Calvin before meeting him. I wouldn't have had it any other way. But as the months go by, the more anxious I grow. I've never been so impatient about anything before. I'm at the point where I just want to drop everything just to be with him.

You know, I just want to look into his eyes and say, "I love you." I want to feel his embrace; his touch. I want to kiss him on the lips; eyes closed with each other in mind. I want to be there when he needs me the most; holding each other, "I'm here." I want so much right now, but I can't have them yet. Thing is, I'm just glad that he's a part of my life. Even though he isn't physically with me, I can still go to him and he'll be there. I can't ask for anything more than that.

They say nobody's perfect. I don't believe that's true. I've fallen in love with someone who is everything I've ever wanted in a partner. He's perfect to me. He loves me for who I am, and I love him for who he is. There isn't a thing I would change about him.

I just want to tell the whole world:

"I love Calvin Woo.

Always and forever."

Sleepyface.

It was kindof sunny today. Until it got all foggy.

Not much happened, really. School was the same. I took Patrick to the DMV so he could FINALLY take his Learner's test. Guess what? He passed! YAYYY. Congratulations, buddyyy. Proud of ya.

While Patrick was taking his test, Sara and I went to Party City to see if they were hiring. Actually.. When we walked in, we forgot what we were doing. So we went to go play with the party favors. LOL. It was fun. I was playing with the bouncy balls and Sara was playing with this.. Stick thingy.. Yeah. Lmao.

After Party City, we went to go pick up Patrick. Theeeen, I took them home. Then, uh.. I went home to change my clothes. Yeahhh.

I left around 5:30 to go to class. Man, soo boring! Swear, the teacher reeeeally pisses me off. OH, OH. So.. This one chick was HELLA mugging. Like, foreals. Every time I turn around or something, she's staringg. Turns out she's the sister of this girl who I almost got into a fight with at the mall. After class, she came up to me. And did NOTHING. Woooow. Reeeeally?

I'm not going to fight her, though. I don't want to worry Calvin any more than I already have. He means the absolute world to me. I don't want to do anything unnecessary.

Well, I came home around 9:30-ish and stuff. Now I'm doing this. Haha. I was talking to Calvin, but he fell asleep. Aww. So cut- He just woke up. LOL. Aww!

He and I are saying goodnight now. He doesn't like to say goodbye anymore. It's so cute! Rarar. I just want to hug him.

Mm.. Well, I'm tired now. I usually have nothing to do after Calvin goes to sleep. Haha. Boo!

G'niiiight.

Startin' with the basics.

Babe told me that he wants to sing. HOW CUTE IS THAT?!

I'm totally going to try and like, teach him. Haha. We're going to make this work!

Challenge.

School was cool. Haha.

Bombed a quiz in Pre-Cal. Gross. Gotta study for the chapter test that's going to happen this Wednesday. Watched a video in Economics. That was kindof boring. I was texting Calvin the whole time. Lmao. He didn't have school today. Luckyy. Uhm! Spanish was alriiiight. Took a vocabulary test. I forgot to ask Mrs. K. if I could see the list of Spanish.. Artists and stuff. I forgot who my person is. LOL..

I had hella to do in the AP Office today. Since Mrs. Zimmerman was giving out Off-Campus passes, I had to watch the office. Ohhh man. I felt so important. Haha. Just kidding. I felt bad sending students to Support Room, though. In-school suspension, boringgg. OH. I know what I was doing wrong on the quiz we took in Chemistry. I DIDN'T CONVERT CELSIUS INTO KELVINS. Duhhh. I was wondering why since everything was set up correctly. I totally got this, man. We had a guest speaker in English. This guy from the Art Institutes. I hella want to try applying, but I heard tuition is brutal.

So, after school, I dropped Patrick, Sara and Therese home. Then, Jennifer and I went to my house so I can change clothes. Then we went to Mountain House! Mm.. Practice was tiri- I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. Yes, I actually went this time. Good stuff, huh? We actually practiced, too. Hum. The introduction for the routine was cleaned up. Yay. Uhh. During the 10-minute break, I was teaching Christine how to 6-Step. I couldn't properly do it 'cause my hip was killing me. Haha. It still hurts. BOO.

I came home around 6-ish? And noooow, I'm doing this. Because I'm bored. Hah- OHH. SO, SO.. Check it out:

"OH MAN. Baby, baby~ When we have children, we're totally training them to Bboy. Then we should call out my brother's children."

Ohh man! Harvey's kids are going down~! Maybe. Haha.

Babe, we're totally making a dance studio in our home. Three kids, 'kayyy? <3

Boba.

Church was pretty cool. We had a guest speaker, and the Youth Group presented the skit from yesterday. I'm still hurting. Haha.

After church, Rosebelle, Ian, my brother and I went to Tapioca Cafe. I bought a Thai Milk Tea. Yummyy. The drinks I make are better, though. LOL. Theeeeen, we went to where my mom was. OHH. It was hella funny. 'Cause like, we just got there, and my mom was talking to everyone about my "Cotillion" and stuff. And like, I was just standing there when Jeffrey's dad (He's around 60-ish) asked me, "Will you marry me?" It hella caught me off guard! I was like, "But, uncle, you have a wife." Lmao. He was likeeee, "I'm just kidding. I wanted to make you smile." Aww! Haha.

I kindof don't remember what happened after Jeffrey's house, though. I was half asleep on the way home 'cause mom kept stopping at grocery stores and stuff.

I got home around four or five..? Then started watching football with dad. Vikings vs. Saints! Maaaaan, that was an intense game. Went overtime and everything. The whole time, Calvin and I were like.. Rarar. Haha.

Saints ending up winning. Boooo. Mm.. I'm about to webcam with Calvin. Yayyy. I get to see his sexy face.

Jealous.

Overflow.

I just got home from San Jose. Maaaaaan, I'm tired. I woke up at like, 10:30-ish this morning 'cause mom wanted to go to Michael's and Costco. Gross!

So we left the house at around.. 11:10? Mom dropped me off at Michael's, so I can find stuff for my "Cotillion" and she went to Costco for gas or something. I got lost in Michael's looking for ribbon. And the section was in the middle of the store. Lmao. Uhm.. Yeah. Then we left for San Jose.

Mom dropped off my brother and I and she went to Milpitas. We practiced our skit for about an hour or so, then we were off to the rally.

The rally was really good. I think we presented our skit fairly well. But, man.. Tile hurts. Lmao. My hip is like.. bruised. I'd say more about it, but I'm pretty tired. Haha.

Mark drove MacMac, Jazzmin, my brother and I to Milpitas. We were heeeella lost earlier. But, we eventually found the freeway and stuff.

We got to my Ninang's house, stayed there for a bit, then cut. I kindof fell asleep in the car on the way home. I think. Nowwww, I'm in my bed, talking to Calvin. Oh, danggg.

Jelly, jelly, jelly.

School was okay. Same old, same old. With a little excitement every hour. Haha.

I took Patrick home, then Sara and I went to the mall! She was eating jellyfish in my car.. LOL. Jelly noodles. Haha. Good stuff. Hella Asian, though.

SO. My date with Sara started. We got to the mall and walked around for a bit. We went to one of my favorite retail stores, HipGeneration. I lost Sara a couple times in there. Lmao. I bought clothes, too. Yay! We went to Barnes and Nobles afterwards.

Hmm.. Over there, Sara and I were looking at cook books. Haha. We were looking for a book by that one chick who does the show, Everyday Italian. We couldn't find her. Until we turned around. Haha. After thaaaaat, we were hella distracted by this one puppy book. Swear, we were looking at it for like, 20 minutes. Lmao. Puppies are cute. Calvin and I are definitely getting a Chow Chow. They're like little bears! Aww.

Ohh. She and I started looking at the "Sexuality" section of the store. Lmao. Hot stuff, you know.

We went to Starbucks and bought stuff.. And started looking at this Relationships book, AT THE SAME TIME. Haha. Sara and I are "insecure, self-pitying, and.." I forgot the last one. LOL. They're kindof true. Calvin and I are "adventurous." Hott.

We bought pretzels. Yummy! We were about to leave when we decided to sit on a bench thingy and eat our pretzels. Haha. My cousin, David, was walking by. So I called him over and gave him my pretzel. He left and we saw Pancake coming towards us. We were so proud of him; he was actually at the mall alone. Haha. Pancake left, and then we saw Edwin and Jeff!

Haha. We were just talking about those two earlier. Funny stuff. We hung around the middle of the mall. I noticed that Security kept looking at us. Lmao. OH. Sara and I saw that cuuuute Freshman boy. He's so small! Like, adorable small. Rarar. Cute. I just want to hug him.

We all went to the arcade 'cause we got bored. Mm.. Asian central, no lie. Initial D racers. Lmao. Jeff and Edwin were playing air hockey and Jeff hit me with the puck. That thing hurts.. We played DDR. Aha. Edwin's hella hardcore. Playing on Expert and stuff. I'm like.. Okay.. On Standard. Harhar. Hum, hum.. OHH. Sara and I were watching Edwin and Jeff play this.. Jungle.. Shooting game. It was hella funny 'cause Edwin was yelling at the game with a Chinese accent. Haha.

Uhm. We were sitting outside of the arcade 'cause there was nothing to do. And we just talked. Like, like.. Good talking. Like, "nothing's changed" talking. I like that.

Sara and I left the mall at like, 7-ishish. 'Cause she's gonna hang out with Jereme- I just broke a nail. THE HELL? How does that happen? Lmao. Buuut, yeah. She might hang out with Jeremey tonight, soooo... I took her home.

I texted Calvin as soon as I left the mall. I get terrible reception over there. Boo. He was asking me about this superstition where if you sneeze a lot, someone's thinking about you. Of course.. I'm always thinking about him. Especially when I'm unable to talk to him.

I'm talking to him right now. Hot. You're jealous.

Star-Crossed.

"We have to go to Juliet's Balcony."

'Yeah?'

"Yeah~ 'Cause like~ A bunch of lovers wrote their names under it."

Gosh. He's such a sweetheart. Verona, Italy. We're totally going.

Rain, rain.

Mm. Today, it rained again.

This morning, Chiara hung out with me in my car. It was pretty chill. Some stuff happened to her the night before. I hope she's okay. I have yet to tell my parents about what happened.. I think I should. Soon.

I'm actually starting to understand Pre-Calculus. I wonder when Daniel and I are ever going to get around to studying. Lmao. Our Math Studies paper was due today. Gross. to the max.

Ohh. Haha. SO, SOOOO. In Economics today, we presented our vocabulary skits. I think it went pretty well. Especially since it was all improve..d. I kept laughing, though. For some reason, I can't say "Authoritarian." Stroup had to correct me every time. How embarrassing. LOL..

Not much really happened today. Judel and I hung out in my car during lunch. She was doing Chemistry homework (which I didn't do..) and left fingerprints in my textbook. Haha. Good thing I bought it! Maybe. I hella wrote "Judel's marks" on the page of the problems that were assigned. That textbook has significance now.

I saw the new Off-Campus Passes today. They look better than First Semesters. Blue, too. Kindof reminds me of West High. Haha. Oh, yeah. I wore the earrings that Marcos gave me. He was dealing with some kid who brought weed to school. It was pretty funny. The student wouldn't leave the building, so the cops had to come and "escort" him.

Chemistry was fun. I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE LEARNING. Can you believe that? Joseph even asked me to explain the concept! Whooooaaa. Haha. Oh. Waggle hella called me out during his lecture. I raised my hand and was about to ask a question, when the class wouldn't quiet down. And you know what he says? "Everyone, shut up. Karen's actually asking a question." Lmao. I even went up during "free time" and asked ANOTHER question. I'm his new favorite. :]

Sara, Patrick and I cut hella quick after school. After I dropped them home, I went grocery shopping. Swear, this cop was following me. Scaryyy. 'Cause like, he was seriously following; Same turns, same lane. Then I walked into the store. LOL.

I've been doing homework since 4-ish until now. AND talking to Calvin. Although, I'm always talking to him. So.. Yeah. Hot.

I'm talking to him right now. OOOH.

Okay, I think.. I've typed a lot. Maybe. Haha.

Hungry.

If only..

Yeah. If only, love.

What a loser.

Instead of eating, I went to sleep..

I woke up in time for class, though. Then I decided not to go. There's something about tonight's teacher that makes me go.. "Suck my dick." LOL. Seriously, though. She's a bitch. If I go when I'm sleepy, who knows what's going to happen.

It's time for me to work on my Math Studies paper.. YAY. I'm using limits to determine velocity. OOH. Don't I sound smart..? Bleah.

Naturally sweet.

So I was drinking this SoBe thing.. Green Tea, yummy. Haha. And like, I decided to look at the label. Lizards and stuff, hot. Yeah. And at the bottom left corner of the label says "Naturally Sweetened with Sugar." LOL. The hell?

Anyways, I'm kindof just waiting until it's time for me to leave for my night class. Haha. Maybe I'll leave at 5 and go to Raley's. I wanna cook when I get home. I'm not sure what I want to cook, though. Hmm..

This one song has been stuck in my head all day. But I can't get the title of it. Maybe you know it. It goes..

"A lot of girls are sexy, but you know how to use it.
You can keep me up on the phone all night.
We say let's hang up on three, but we don't ever do it.
Ain't it crazy? After all this time.

We got that 'you hang up. No, you hang up.' Kindof love."

Haha. Maybe I'll find it on my iTunes later. I'm too lazy to look it up on Google.. So.. Yeah. Lmao.

OH. I finally gave Marcos his bracelet. Haha. AND, in return, he gave me these earrings he made. Ohh man. They're so pretty. I'm gonna wear them tomorrow. Mm. Marcos is one of the security at my school. He's hella chill. I'm diggin' that.

I'm talking to Calvin right now. Boooo. I really want to be with him. He said if he can, he might come over here during his Spring Break. And thaaaat's in MARCH. Ahhh. Exciting. I'm kindof hoping he's able to, but we'd only get to spend a week together. Then again, he and I wouldn't have to wait until May to see each other. Mm.. Boo!

I'm sad now. Bleahh! I gotta leave in half an hour. I think I might go eat something now. Starvingg.

Killing time.

Today was.. Interesting. Swear, I could not concentrate at all today. I wonder why..

WELL, school was alright. It rained and stuff. Hella windy, too. I felt like a model. Haha. Just kidding. OHHH, Judel got her license today. YAY. YAYYY. She's going to drive to my house all the time now. Hott.

After school, I took Sara and Patrick home. Patrick took his Permit Test today, I think. Haha. If he did, I wonder if he passed. Mm.. I went home and ate HELLA until I had to leave for my night class. Haha. I'm such a fatty. Guillermo texted me around 4-ishish. I forgot I was supposed to pick him up today. Soo...

I picked Guillermo up at around 5:30 and went to Safeway because he was hungry. Then we were off to school! BORING. Three hours of writing. Ahh. After class, I took Guillermo home and went home myself.

Now I'm doing this.. 'Cause I have nothing else to do. Haha.

I'm talking to Calvin right now. So, I'm gonna continue doing that. Yea- Nevermind. He just went to take a shower. LOL. Booooo. Maybe I'll take a shower, too. Hmm..

OH. I just realized something. Sara never came by to pick up her American Government book. Maybe she's having too much fun. Oh, dangg. Hot, hot. LMAO. I was right. I'm talking to Sara right now. AHHHH. Hot stuff.

Mm.. I'm like, waiting for Calvin to get out of the sho- HE'S OUT.

Bye. Lmao.

Happy thoughts.

Oh man. It's been HELLA days since I've posted something. Haha. Since it's a new year, I was trying to post something every day. But, that didn't happen. I've been busy doing.. Other stuff. LOL. Gross.

I woke up at like, 8-ish 'cause Calvin texted me. Haha. He said he couldn't sleep, I tried to stay up so he and I could talk, but the attempt was futile (LOL. I'm expanding my vocabulary).

I couldn't go to practice today because of car trouble. Dangg. I don't get why every time I have the chance to go to practice, something bad happens. BOO.

Mm.. Oh. So last night, Calvin and I were talking on the phone and webcamming. ALL NIGHT. Ooooh. It was fun; hella enjoyed it. We talked about some interesting stuff. Stuff that.. Honestly, I NEVER thought we would ever talk about. He's such a tease. Lmao!

He and I learned a lot more about each other.

I ended up falling asleep at around 4:30-ishish? He was being a creeper and watching me sleep. Haha. Well, I am his jailbait and he's my pedophile. <3

Our conversations have gotten so much more interesting. I love it.

Every day.

He makes my day.

Like a nascar.

This week went by heeeeella quick. Haha. I'm kindof hoping it would go this fast for the rest of the year.

Closer than ever.

'Nough said.

Oh, baby.

Max wore his shirt! It looks pretty good.

I think I did a good job picking out their gifts! Haha. Maybe.

Piggy.

Oh man. So, today.. Was a really long day. I don't know why.

OH. Some packages came today. My sweater from Josten's came in and some stuff for dad came in, as well. AND, AND.. Calvin and Max's Christmas gifts arrived. Haha. THEY ARE FREAKIN' ADORABLE.

Calvin bought me this suuuper cute stuffed pig. Aww. I ended up just calling it Piggy. Haha. Max bought me this stuffed kitty. It hella reminds me of my first cat. Boooo.

I'll post pictures of them later, if I remember.

Mm.. OH, OH. Piggy's nose squeaks. HOW CUTE IS THAT? Haha. I love it. Calvin also gave me these really cute cards, a letter, labels (LOL), and his Senior photo. Ohhh man. Hot stuff. The letter and the cards were really sweet. Aww. I have no idea what I've done to deserve a sweetheart like him.

Boo. Time for homework. Gross. Bye-beee.

Another month down.

Calvin wore his shirt today! It looks soooooo good on him. Haha. Hella made my day.

And, I believe Calvin gave Max my gift.. I should text him later! Wee.

It's 3 years and 3 months today. <3

Schoooool.

School resumed today. It was alriiiiight. It didn't even feel like we just had a break. Lmao. Lots of work were assigned and stuff.

Calvin and Max received their Christmas gifts today! Yay~ Haha. I was looking forward to it all day.

I really couldn't decide what to get them. Buuuut~! I bought them these really nice dress shirts. I bought Calvin this dark gray one with stripes, and I bought Max this white one! I wonder how they look on them.. They better look sexy! 'Cause, together, they were around 80 dollars. Lmao.. Shh. Don't tell them.

Calvin says he really likes it. AND it fits. Yesss. I'm happy now. Now I'm wondering about Max.. Hmm~~

Haha. Weeeell, school was tiring. I'm kindof sleepy now.

G'niiiight.

Trying too hard?

Not much happened today. Just church.

Haha. Hmm.. I asked Myung if he wanted to watch a movie, and he was cool with it 'cause he had time to kill until his meeting with his boss. So.. He contacted me at 2:30 saying that he's already out of church, but I was just leaving San Jose at that time. Yesterday, I told him that I might be home at 3. So I was half an hour late. Not that bad, right? Eh, he texts me at 3:10-ish saying that he was gonna go to Manteca and practice there instead. Okayyy? Couldn't even wait 20 minutes.

Anyways, so he and I didn't hang out. It's whatever. Lmao. I'm just gonna stop trying. Yup.

I went to go cut my hair instead. School tomorrow. Not entirely excited. But, hey. I haven't seen anyone since before break.

Time to sleep.

Recreation.

I bet you're wondering why I deleted ALL the posts from 2009.

Well, it's a new year - New blog-ish? I'm not saying that I'm just going to forget this past year. I'm saying.. Hell, I don't know what I'm talking about. Haha. Well, mm.. 2009 was not a good year.

I tried hanging out with Myung today, but he wanted to session instead. Which was fine with me, y'know? It really, really seems like he doesn't want to kick it anymore.

It's whateverrr.

More opportunities.

Mm.. First post of the new year. Aha.

So far, it's been good. I went to a Youth Dinner at my church. Jazzmin did an amazing job. I got the "Most Helpful" Award. Haha.

Hmm. I haven't been writing as much as I used to. LOL. I've been getting lazy. Yayy.

New Year's Resolutions:

-Graduate. LOL.
-Get that passion for dancing back.
-Get a STABLE job.
-Reconnect with lost relationships.
-Buy a Digital SLR.
-ROAD TRIP to Minnesota.
-Help dad pay for a car.
-Get a tattoo. Designed by Mara, of course. <3
-Get five more piercings.

Okay. Maybe they're not ALL resolutions. But they're something I would love to get done this new year.