Last night..

"..I tried, but I couldn't sleep.
Thoughts of you were in my head.
I was lonely and I needed you next to me.."

I woke up at like 3-ish.. And this song was playing. I haven't been able to sleep since then. Haha..

I've been thinking a lot lately. Mostly about the day Calvin and I are finally going to be together. I know, I'm a romantic. But I can't help myself. He and I had just started talking again about 6-ish months ago. And in a matter of days, I've come to love him all over again. I guess it's true. You know, what they say about one's first love.

Remember when I said 2009 wasn't a good year? Yeah, last year was the year when Calvin wasn't a part of my life. I've always felt that there was something missing. I need him. I know that now. He's my lover beyond comparison - my boyfriend. He's the one who fills my heart - my other half. He's the one I can confide in - my best friend.

I'm still unsure as to what true love is, though. Hmm.. A few words do come to mind when I think of the word, "love."

Commitment; Love is a choice.

Acceptance; Love looks past one's flaws.

Time; Love doesn't happen overnight.

I'm happy that I'm able to know Calvin before meeting him. I wouldn't have had it any other way. But as the months go by, the more anxious I grow. I've never been so impatient about anything before. I'm at the point where I just want to drop everything just to be with him.

You know, I just want to look into his eyes and say, "I love you." I want to feel his embrace; his touch. I want to kiss him on the lips; eyes closed with each other in mind. I want to be there when he needs me the most; holding each other, "I'm here." I want so much right now, but I can't have them yet. Thing is, I'm just glad that he's a part of my life. Even though he isn't physically with me, I can still go to him and he'll be there. I can't ask for anything more than that.

They say nobody's perfect. I don't believe that's true. I've fallen in love with someone who is everything I've ever wanted in a partner. He's perfect to me. He loves me for who I am, and I love him for who he is. There isn't a thing I would change about him.

I just want to tell the whole world:

"I love Calvin Woo.

Always and forever."