A.R. Ent.

So.. Today was alright. Allen had an interview, so Sara and I went with him.

Met a new guy. Jeff Avila. I keep wanting to call him Nick for some reason. Haha. Hmm..

Anyways, I'm hella tired. I dunno. It kindof seems like I'm not into anything anymore. I just want everything to be done with, you know? School and whatnot. I kindof just want to drop it and go on with my life.

I'm tryna move to San Jose after I come back from Minnesota.. Or when school lets out. Who knows.

One of those days.

It's my 4th or 5th time leaving the house. Wow..

This time, she can't do shit about it. Right now, I'm staying at Sara's house. Her family says I can stay until school's out.. But, I don't know.

I really don't know.

Three weeks.

Until school is out. I can do it.. Right?

Another month down.

Baby, we're another month closer until we finally get to see each other.

I can't wait to hug you, kiss you, and do everything with you. I love you so much, Calvin. I don't know what I would do without you. I know I can't live without you. It hurts to think about it. You're my world, baby. And I need you in my life.

I'm in love with you, baby. I know I am. I'm so blessed to have you as my boyfriend and my best friend. I know you don't believe in God, but I thank Him for bringing you back into my life.

I love you, Calvin. Always and forever.

Tomorrow.

Will be another month Calvin and I have been together. Man, they're passing by so quickly.

Baby, we're like the moon and the sun - Even though we're apart from each other, you're the light that keeps me shining. I can't wait until we're together; Underneath the same sky.

Cotillion weekend.

Man, the hotel was so much fun. Haha. We played hella games. Like, 10 Fingers, Charades, and Truth or Dare.

10 Fingers was hella fun! I was so close to losing 'cause the game started to get sexual. Lmao! Charades was fun. I had to act out "buying a car." It was.. Interesting. Truth or Dare was AWESOME. We kept making fun of Therese and trying to get her to do something kinky. We even got Leslie to give Dexter a lap dance. LOL.. I think we really loosened her up before the big day.

I remember Jennifer coming out with this long, decorative pillow attached to her crotch. LOL. It was so funny. 'Cause David was pretending to suck it and Christine was taking it from the back. Good stuff, good stuff.

I started to cry while saying my speech that I actually had to stop a couple times. Haha. Booooo. I think I did.. Okay, though. YEAH.

The event itself was really fun. I was so tired after performing. 'Cause like.. We did Tahitian, then right after, it was Hip Hop. I was super hot since I had to put on a jacket for Hip Hop after dancing Tahitian. Danggg.

I hella enjoyed myself. I missed Calvin hella much, though. I didn't get to text him until dinner, but I had to stop again 'cause of our performances.

After the event, we still had time until 10, we were dancing from like.. 8:30 - 9:45-ishhh. I took Jessica, David and Therese home. It was cute 'cause like, as soon as we got onto the freeway, they all knocked out. So I was bored the whole ride home.

Well, kindof. I was texting Calvin. Lmao. He actually kept me up.

As soon as I got home, I basically knocked out. I didn't even change my clothes or anything. Gross. I DIDN'T BRUSH MY TEETH. AHHH.

I brushed for hella days this morning, though. Minty freshhh.

Man, I'm still tired.

As for today..

Allen gave me the script for the music video. We're going to start filming this weekend. How exciting.

Ahhh. Yeah. I'm gonna talk to Calvin now.

Useless..

Calvin's not feeling well and there's nothing I can do about it.. God, it's times like these when I really want to be there with him.

Man.. I'm so selfish, I asked him last night to wake me up this morning. Hell, I even said that I wanted to stay on the phone while he was telling me to get ready.

You know, every time I heard him breathing hard, it hurt me. Knowing that he's sick, and that he trying his best to stay up just to talk to me, I started to cry.. Even when I shouldn't have been.



Someone answer me - Why am I so weak..?